Monday, May 30, 2011

is it the end?

    Bismillahirrahmanirrahim,so first of all,i just wanna say sorry to all my readers,Im so busy till i dont have any time to update my blog.thats a cliche excuse.

   There are lots and lots of things happened to me lately.Happy and sad moment.Nobody can predict what will happen to their life.Same here,i never predict something happy will end up with bad memory.

  so,3 weeks full of exams.Struggling for my best results.Moreover with uncatchup subjects,its stressing me up to the sky.But alhamdulillah,with the "barokah' for last minute study,I got 80 for my addmaths.From 50,i could push myself to get A.I kept asking my mum to pray for me during Addmaths' paper.i woke up so early just to make sure I was ready physically and mentally.The feeling is just like im going for a war.Yeah,Jihad in study is also a type of war.

  On the 2nd weeks,I started to practice for PPM Debate tournament.The feeling was very tormenting.Our spirit to win the debate is like a burning fire.Our aim:To bring up KISAS's name to the final round.Then,the practises started.With brother fakry which came on the first week,we sacrificed our time for study (since we have Sejarah's paper on the next day).Our aim is just one.To bring back the Trophy to our school after 6 years it had not arrived here since 2005.

   Then,on the next week,kak iman and bro sharaf came to KISAS.Plus,bro aiman and afzal and all BM's trainer came to KISAS,just to train us(BM and BI debater).On that time,I feel like so happy!Its because before this,its hard for us to even get one trainer.tribute to them for coming to KISAS and complementing our training session.Then,on the next day,our first speaker,syuhaida,she came for the last minute before she went to melbourne,Australia for a school trip.I felt sad on that time,because I dont know if there ll be an aircrash or what so ever.Alhamdulillah,she came back here safely.

   so, on the next week,where we had just finished our exam,which was on thursday,Its only 3 days left before the tournament!The spirit is as high as the blue sky!we practiced from morning,till midnight~.the memory is very nice.Being together,discuss together,and also eat together.(credit to diyana who always bring chocolates during training).

   So,on the next day,which is saturday,we were waiting for our 1st speaker to land off at KLIA.Finally,at 4 pm,she was safe landed.So,during the night,which was the last night before we went to TKC,we welcomed our first speaker with warm hands.After one week,yeah,finally she came back.On that night,she came with us,with her tired face.But thats not an excuse! She was very strong.Can you imagine if someone just got back from overseas and come to library just for practice?Yeah,I salute her there.

  The story continues,on the next morning,we departed from KISAS around 1 PM.Then,we  stopped at SESERI and we transited there.So we went to TKC by SESERI bus.Most of us just sleep during the journey.Yeah,to accumulate the energy before the tournament.CEWAAH!

   So here is the climax!the tournament was held at Tengku Kurshiah College or in BM we always clld it as KATAK(KTK),Lol.On the first night,its just a short briefing on tomorrow's tournament.Unfortunately,i was left by the boys,(as Im the only boy  in english team).Kurang asam punye pidot!HAHA!.Then,I took any bus there to go to SASER(as boys accomodation were located there).

  So,tomorrow,early in the morning,we were put inside the quarantine room as the debate will just start after zohor.I was very excited on the first day.Then,we started to discuss about the theme given which was about digital resources in education.Unluckily,there was a short fight between me and the 2nd speaker.I dont know why,but the fight just went off just like that.

  So,our first round was against SBPI kota tinggi(SAKTI).On the motion 'THBT e-book should be introduced in classroom',we as the opposition team,we won this round.On the 2nd round,we were againstSek. men. sains raja tun azlan shah (SERATAS),on the motion THW allow women to involve in extreme sports.We as the gov,we won this round.So on the next round,when we were against SBPI Kuantan(INTEK),on the motion THBT the lack og law enforcement is the cause to the environmental destruction.We as the oppo,we lose this round.It was a biased adjudication.So sad.

  So,we cant move to the next round.The BM team managed to go to the next round then they also lose.Same like us,it was biased adjudication.(i dont like it when teacher is the adjudicator.You know what is the reason.).  So,basically,we were so sad.But,Bm's debater is so different with me.At least they lose as a team.But for me?

  So,here is the sad story.I have a solid team.My 1st speaker is just so awesome.My 2nd speaker is very superb.And my 3rd speaker is like a slayer.And yeah,Im just the reserve. They told me that I shouldnt be there,because our teacher wanted to bring all girls.But they strived for my name to be in the list.I was so impressed.Yeah,they do appreciate me because of my brilliant brain.But they dont even know that they are already good without me.

  We were so complementing each other until one night,during the tournament,i texted one of my speaker.And I told her that IM not satisfied on hows our team is going.But,I gave a wrong word,then everything becomes BOOM!.Starting on the next morning,we didnt talk at all.Everything becomes silent.I was like living in my own world,without anyone noticed on my presence.

    Its reallly hurting ! I cant bear all these silences !i tried to give my apology but they rejected it.I tried to tell my problem to someone,I need someone to listen to my heart,but there is no one.I tried to ask bro sharaf about it,but he refused.I tried to tell pidot,but he can just listen to it,nobody can help me to get out of it!

  Why?why im so care about this?Because DEBATE IS MY PASSION!

Starting from form 3,I get involved in debate.I was too addicted to debate.Im willing to sacrifice my money,my energy and even my time for study just for it!Theres nothing in this world that makes my life in hostel worthy.Its just my career.Everyone have their own career in school,either drama,teater or even debate.Debate is mine!I know that Im not that good.Compared to others,im just like a talking rubbish who always give on crap talking!.But,fyi,this talking rubbish also do have feeling.I know what is my mistake.

   But,maybe this is the end.A bad ending.i know,my life is not like in fairy I accept it.Maybe theres something that Allah wanna show to me.i think its enough for tonight.My keyboard is already wet.Thanx my teammates,for giving me nice memories before this.




  1. keep you passion in debate burning... :)

  2. this sure does brings out the memories..haha..
    ble pker2 it's just an immature fight..haha

  3. this sure does brings out the memories..haha
    ble pker2 balik, it's just an immature fight..haha


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