1.12 a.m....1st of August 2010:
I have found the most precious 'pearl in "bumi waqafan".Okay,the story starts like this.My life here is very chaotic.I can feel the sin for every breath of mine.the feeling of rebellious had been planted inside my mind.The SECULARISME that I never thought that Im the one that who will upholding this principal.That is me!starting from 23rd of April 2010-1st of August...The rebellious feeling become stronger.
So,what had happened actually on the 1st of August 2010?
The day where we,the form 4 student of Kolej Islam Sultan Alam Shah,had succeded to finish our 'TAARUF" with our 146 batchmate.(please dont ask me whether I passed it or not).So the event starts on 12.00a.m. of that particular day.We made a big 'halaqah' and the president of BADAR take away the nametag(which had been wear about 7 months=COMPULSORY!) .The feeling of happy and delightful raised out from our face.Everyone is smiling happily!
The event continued by 'bersalam-salaman' with our senior which had go through a lot of thing along the period of tarbiyyah process and had been very patient with us.this is the most TOUCHING moment!Every brother that come to me and hug me will say that,"ÄRIF,U HAVE A LOT OF POTENTIAL,BUT I CAN SEE THAT U R CHANGING TO THE BADSIDE.PLEASE ARIF!CHANGE BACK!WE NEED U!"...
I dont know how to express my feeling on that time.But Its really hurting.Its really painful!The process of accepting guidance from Allah is not that easy.
So,on the same night,right after the event,I went to the one of my Usrah's Naqib to tell him all my mistakes.I admit it!I didn't go for Tazkirah about 3 months!I didn't go for Liqa' Al-mulk about 3 months too,and so with my Usrah!I told him about all of my silly mistakes that shouldn't been done by a student of KISAS!Then,this bro clarified to me everything about my situation.I really respect him!He is a such good counsellor and DAIE.He say that,the biggest JIHAD is when we are fighting with our desire to do bad things.
So,from that moment,I realised that,the process of 'penanggalan nametag" is not just that.It is a start to a larger "AMANAH"....which is continuing the process of tarbiyah in KISAS for our lil bro next year!That is truly HEAVY!With my condition right now...I have to keep improving....rapidly...to make sure that i ll be able to guide other person in the future~.
And so with my exam's results which is making my heart very down.I didnt enter the class about 1 month!I missed a lot of syllabus!The main cause are JAPAN thingy and DEBATE!But that shouldn't be a problem.That's my problem for not managing my schedule well.
Ok....So that is the story of MINE!The truth about who I am!A greedy guy with a bad attitude!BUT!Let the past to be the past...Forget about it and starts a new life.That is me now...and my life is getting better..
So the conclusion is...DON'T EVER LOSE UR HOPE AND FAITH TO ALLAH! ÄLLAHUMMA YA MUQALLIBALQULUB,SABBITQULUBANA ALA DINIK..WAALA TOATIK..
Fastqim kama umirta!-keep istiqamah with ur new changes...and friends!i need ur help!tnx a lot!!